Until Then
by The Enthusiast
Summary: She sits in her room, pen in hand, trying to think of some way to express her complex feelings to her journal. It's impossible, she thinks. Her feelings do not belong in the journal anyway. They belong in the water.
1. 1

Just a oneshot. Yes, it's Dasey (indicated in paragraph eight). Italicized paragraphs are flashbacks.

* * *

You take one look at her and think Sports? Quilting maybe, but sports? That is understandable, even predictable. But she did it anyway.

Why?

Because of the first second. When she stands there on the diving block, looking down upon the shimmering blue water a shiver of nervousness runs through her. She closes her eyes, and leaps with all of her strength. She hits the water, the freezing cold water, and all the feelings are released. All the rage and sadness that she's kept hidden break free and create an aura around her as she is suspended in the cold blue, her lungs burning, creating a huge, flaming ball of Casey.

And that's why she signed up for the swim team.

Casey can still remember the day when she told everyone at dinner that she was part of the swim team. She could predict what they'd say. Nora would congratulate her, George would wonder why, then Nora would tell him that Casey could do whatever she wanted. Derek would tease her, Edwin would join in, and Marti? Well, Marti was unpredicable.

All of those things happened, and she went to swim practice every Friday after dinner, as planned. Friday soon became her favorite day of the week.

Casey always felt different in the water. All the feelings she kept pent up Saturday through Thursday were all released as she hit the water. Casey tried her hardest, loving the challenge swimming presented for her. She quickly became the best swimmer in the class, helping the team win competitions and bring them to the top. Casey was the team's secret weapon, brining them to the finals. Casey barely noticed this. Ask her how many competitions they've won, and she can't tell you. When Casey's swimming, she just notices how she feels. When she makes it to the middle of the pool in the free style stroke and her muscles are aching, she uses the rage and sadness that builds up inside her all through the week to get her to the end.

_She sits in her room, pen in hand, trying to think of some way to express her complex feelings to her journal. "It's impossible," she thinks. Her feelings do not belong in the journal anyway. They belong in the water._

How can she tell her journal she loves someone who'll never love her back? Who shouldn't love her anyway? How can she tell her journal that she's mad at herself for feeling this way? For thinking the impossible? So she waits until Friday, until she hits the water in that flying leap that sets her soul on fire.

_She puts away the journal and desperately wishes she was swimming._

Until then.

* * *

OK, that's it. Hope you liked it! Well, if you did, review and tell me! Criticizm is welcome. 


	2. 2

Casey is crying.

Her salty tears are falling into the chlorine depths silently. She sits at the edge of th epool, ankles still immersed in the water, wrapped in a towel. She is all alone.

Casey loves the pool the most when it's empty. She stares out at the shimmering surface of the water, but not seeing it at all. She's seeing his face instead.

Casey stands up slowly, hardly aware of herself. The lighting is very dim, casting the glittering surface of the water onto the ceiling. Casey takes a deep breath and wipes away the tears trickling slowly down her pale cheeks. She casts the towl onto the ground and climbs onto the diving block. She stretches her arms up high and feels herself jump, fly, fall.

As she breaks through the surface of the water, she decides to swim a lap or two for some exercise. She might be swimming on the surface, but her heart's still at the bottom of the pool.

* * *

The girly-girls all came to show their support for the team before the meet (which meant flirting with all the guy members and gossiping with all the girls) Casey always distanced herself from them. She didn't know why. Something about their fake, plastic-y manner bugged her. However, she did talk with a few. To keep her from looking at the stands. To keep her from looking at Derek and the blonde girl sitting next to him. 

Casey was up first, racing with the backstroke.

"Well, here I go," she thought, just before the signal whistle was blown.

Casey took the dive to start and felt her spirit releasing into the freezing water. She swims with everything in her, although a distant voice is telling her to save her energy. All she sees as she makes her way across the pool is the blondie's face. She uses the heartbreak to make it to the end, ignoring the pain in her muscles. Somehow, the pain feels good.

When she made it to the end and pulled herself out of the pool, looking back, she saw that she won by a landslide.

Looking into the stands, she feels a rush of joy as she sees her family cheering for her. Then she sees Derek. For a second they made eye contact, but it is broken as the girl beside him says something. Casey feels like crying all over again.

Lately she feels like she's on drugs. Swimming is her high, then when she gets out and dries off, she spirals down again.

_I'm powerless, _she thinks.

* * *

Casey blasts the stereo that night as she tries to write something in her journal. Paul says it's important to write things down. _Write what? That I think I might be in love...with..._her eyes drift to the door that leads to the hallway. She can picture the turn in her mind: left, walk a few feet..._him..._

Casey throws the journal and watches it land on her desk, knocking over her alarm clock with a satisfying _crash_. Lately her feelings are a like churning, boiling rapids. And she's drowning in them.

* * *

Okay, that's it. Review if you like it, review if you don't! I'm working on the ending...but I'm extremely lately, I'm warning you! If anyone has any ideas for the story, please send me a message :D 


	3. 3

Hey guys. Chapter three is finally up!

Disclamer: I don't own Life With Derek, which should probably be considered a good thing.

* * *

The pool had been closed for three days. Painting job. Casey had to go all weekend just itching to get in the water. It hadn't become a Friday routine any more -- she was at the pool at least four or five days a week now. As soon as she got word that it was running again, she jogged the half mile to the YMCA, eager to practice her strokes. The janitor smiled knowingly upon seeing her and silently opened the door to the pool, then turned to continue his rounds. Casey took a moment and stared at the familiar area, then flicked the lights, bathing the giant room in flourescence. She set her backpack down and zipped it open, grabbing the towel in the front pocket. She padded over to the side of the pool and took a deep breath.

* * *

"Lizzie, do me a favor and go get Casey," Nora said to Lizzie who was seated at the table trying to do her math homework. Lizzie sighed and ran to the bottom of the stairs. "CASEY! GET DOWN HERE!" Lizzie yelled at the top of her lungs. Nora cringed.

"What happened to my quiet little girl?" she asked rhetorically.

"I was never quiet," Lizzie replied with a laugh, and picked up her pencil, going back to long division. They waited for awhile, but Casey never came down.

"I need her to babysit!" Nora complained. Lizzie thought for a moment.

"Maybe she's at the pool," she commented.

"She spends too much time there," Nora replied, more to herself than Lizzie.

"Go tell Derek to pick her up," Nora said. Lizzie sighed and ran upstairs, wondering when she'd get her homework done.

* * *

Casey stepped up to the diving board and tipped her face up a little. She decided to do nothing special, no dives or anything, just a simple jump. She backed up a few steps and ran.

Her feet left the board and she went up, up, up. For a split second, at the top of her arc, she felt like she was actually flying. Like the feeling you get on a swing, when you're at your highest. She opened her eyes for a quick fraction of a second and saw the blur of colors in front of her as she went sailing through the air. Then her feet made contact with the water. As soon as her head left the surface, she found herself unconciously curling herself inward. When she her feet hit the concrete twelve feet under, she pushed up with all her might and went shooting through the water. She spread herself out, holding her arms high above her head. She was like a bird hatching from an egg, or a butterfly bursting free from a cocoon. She felt amazingly free, and for the first time in a long, long while...happy.

Casey's graceful form suddenly burst through the liquid surface. A million glittering drops flew in all directions, and they caught in the brilliant light radiating down from the ceiling. Casey took a gasping breath, than swam rapidly over to the side of the pool. She pulled herself up and sat on the diving block, needing to reflect for a second. She was unaware of the person watching at the doorway. She absentmindedly ran her fingers through her dark hair and bit her lip. For the first time since she began swimming that day, she was thinking almost clearly. Casey curls her knees together and wraps her arms around herself, kind of like giving herself a hug. She feels...strangely...content. Casey had almost forgotten what that felt like. _I guess that's what it's like to be depressed. _

While Casey is thinking rationally and clearly, Derek's head is reeling. He's seeing a video in his mind -- it's on a loop. He keeps seeing her as she flies in midair, the loud _splash _sound that erupted as she hit the glittering water. He never thought that the girl whom he loved to hate could ever look that beautiful...

_He walked down the dark, empty hallway that led to the pool, inwardly complaining that his video game had been interrupted just so he could pick up Princess Casey from her precious swimming session. As he approached the window he saw her standing on the diving board out of the corner of his eye, but he was too distracted with thoughts to really care. But when he finally reached the door and put his hand on the knob...he found he couldn't move. Or take his eyes off her..._

Out of the three people occupying the building at that moment, one girl, one boy, one janitor, they all feel different. One is feeling clean, free, and content for the first time in a while. One is hypnotized, melancholy, and confused for the first time in a while. But I guess that's just love.

* * *

OK, there's the ending. I was swimming the other day so I got the idea for it just as I was doing what Casey was -- the whole jumping up from the bottom. I love that feeling, don't you? Anyway, I don't really like the last paragraph, but whatever. :) I live on reviews -- please don't starve me. :) 


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